


Bad Luck Happens to the Best of Men

by OmoYasha



Series: Omovember 2020 [7]
Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Gen, Minor Higurashi Kagome/InuYasha, Minor Miroku/Sango (InuYasha), Miroku is a good bro, Omorashi, Post-Canon, Wetting, all ships are background - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:00:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27513460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OmoYasha/pseuds/OmoYasha
Summary: Omovember Day 10: Tied Up-“What I mean is, you seem rather uncomfortable, my friend.  Do you need to relieve yourself?”There was a beat while that sunk in, and then InuYasha’s face shifted from neutral back to annoyed.“They grabbed me while I was trying to go take a piss! What do you think, dumbass?”
Relationships: InuYasha & Miroku (InuYasha)
Series: Omovember 2020 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1998742
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	Bad Luck Happens to the Best of Men

**Author's Note:**

> This story is about pee. You have been warned.

“HEY! Come back here you asshole!”

“Great idea InuYasha, how could they ever resist letting us go under the threat of meaningless insults?”

Miroku raised an eyebrow as his friend twisted around in his bindings to glare at him.

“You got a better idea you pervy monk?”

He sighed.

“Much as I hate to say it, perhaps we should wait? Maybe there will be an opening for escape. And if there is not, well… Our dear ladies are as capable as they are lovely, and I am sure it won’t be too long until they come to lend a hand.”

“You expect us to just wait here and leave them to fight those youkai by themselves?”

Miroku shrugged, as much as the ropes would allow. He didn’t like the situation either, but it wasn’t like they had much choice. It had been bad luck all around, this time – all of them were dead certain that InuYasha had caught the same flu last week that had knocked half the village off their feet in the last month. Not that the hanyou had the good sense to admit it – he’d insisted he was fine, and stubbornly continued doing about three people’s worth of chores. It was a stroke of good fortune that Kagome _hadn’t_ gotten it – he could only imagine how badly that would have gone – and InuYasha _had_ recovered much faster than his human counterparts.

He was almost fine by the time they caught wind of this job, and bored enough to insist on coming along to help… an offer which Miroku was hardly likely to refuse. Not only would it be pointless, but InuYasha could usually get a demon extermination done far more quickly and safely than Miroku could alone.

Except… this time, they’d had the misfortune of a particularly clever group of youkai, good at masking their scent and their youki. Not strong enough to win a straight fight against InuYasha (very few demons were, these days) but definitely smart enough to know that. And, apparently, smart enough to get the drop on them.

Now they were tied up in the back of an old shed, thoroughly immobilized with rope strong enough and tight enough that even InuYasha couldn’t do much without leverage, since they had made sure to bind his hands behind his back so that his claws couldn’t rip into the bindings. At least they didn’t seem interested in killing them at the moment – something to be grateful for, even if the youkai had made comments implying that was because they thought both priest and hanyou body parts would be valuable for a ritual they had planned. For now, they were alone, and safe enough. Just… captured.

He ignored InuYasha’s predictable response of angry growling, opting to close his eyes and meditate for a while until he calmed down. It really wasn’t surprising his friend was angry – InuYasha didn’t like losing, he didn’t like being powerless, and he especially didn’t like the idea that his wife would have to come rescue him. No matter how skilled or powerful she’d gotten, she was still human. And that meant, to the hanyou, she was fragile. All of them were, and Miroku knew it bothered him, but it always seemed to hit him harder with Kagome than with himself or Sango. Maybe because, although she could certainly defend herself, she was not a fighter, at heart or by trade. Probably, it was because he loved her more, as well – not that that was something Miroku would ever dream of judging him for. After all, much as he cared for all of his friends… if it came down to a choice between one of them or Sango, he knew who his thoughts would turn to first.

Nevertheless, InuYasha was predictably bad company when he was angry, and it was better to leave him be.

When the shouting and snarling had died down into low growls and irritable muttering, he cracked an eyelid.

“Are you done now?”

“Shut up.”

There was no real _bite_ behind the comeback though, so Miroku opened both eyes and twisted around on the pole he was tied to until he was facing his friend. It was pretty much the same as his mental image had been; InuYasha was scowling at nothing in particular, making about the same expression he had when one of Miroku’s children shoved a jar of vinegar at him. Undoubtedly, if his hands were free, he’d have them crossed in front of his chest as always. But something seemed… off, about his posture. And given, they were trussed up and tied to poles at the moment. But even so, something didn’t sit right.

He watched. InuYasha mumbled something grumpily under his breath, and twisted around in his bindings. But... for an attempt to get free, it was pretty halfhearted.

Interested, he didn’t say anything, turning his head but watching InuYasha out of the corner of his eye. It was a little odd, for the hanyou to be this restless, when they had already been here for some time. He was stubborn, but he wasn’t _stupid_ – he was fully understood the idea of letting your enemy let their guard down to offer you a better shot. Miroku would’ve expected him, now that they’d been here a couple hours, to have settled down into sullenly waiting.

He watched.

Nothing happened for a long while. Then, InuYasha _squirmed_. That was the only word the movement could be described with – not an aggressive struggle for freedom, but a blatant attempt to alleviate discomfort. He frowned. Why did that look so familiar?

And then he stifled the urge to laugh when it hit him. As the proud parent of two five year olds and a toddler, he knew _exactly_ where he’d seen that kind of restless movement before.

His attempts to keep from laughing were only partially successful – he had to disguise a snort into a loud cough, and based on the dirty look InuYasha shot him through messy white bangs, the hanyou was not convinced.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“You don’t make that face at nothing. What is it?”

“Ah, well…” Miroku couldn’t keep the amusement from his tone. “Were you shouting to intimidate those youkai? Or were you simply hoping you could yell loud enough to drown out nature’s call?”

InuYasha went still, head tilting slightly and eyebrows scrunched together on a comical expression of confused concentration as he tried to work through to Miroku’s meaning. He could literally see him mouthing the words of the sentence to himself. As hysterically funny as it could be to watch InuYasha screech to a halt upon encountering a complicated metaphor (and Miroku did smother another laugh), he decided to put the man out of his misery after a moment. Flowery language was certainly no friend to the hanyou.

“What I mean is, you seem rather uncomfortable, my friend. Do you need to relieve yourself?”

There was a beat while that sunk in, and then InuYasha’s face shifted from neutral back to annoyed.

“They grabbed me while I was trying to go take a piss! What do you think, dumbass?”

Ah.

That certainly explained quite a bit. He hadn’t really been sure what InuYasha had been doing when he got ambushed – he had a tendency to wander off without explanation of exactly what he was doing. As far as Miroku was concerned, he could just as easily been scouting for more demons, or hunting deer (either to take home or use as bait), or just hiding in a tree because he was tired of talking. He didn’t usually ask. That he got ambushed while looking for someplace to relieve himself was, well…

“Ah. That’s unfortunate.”

“Keh. You can say that again.”

They fell into another long spell of silence; the kind that would normally be comfortable between then, and instead was quite uncomfortable simply because _InuYasha_ was clearly uncomfortable.

Miroku sighed. He was less inclined to tease his friend, knowing that the other actually had a serious problem.

“You know, it’s not going to help just sitting around with nothing to do but think about it.”

InuYasha made an irritated scoffing noise at the back of his throat. They’d known each other long enough, now, that it was easy to interpret – _what exactly do you expect me to think about instead?_

InuYasha had nothing to worry about – Miroku was nothing if not distracting.

“So I hear lady Kagome is excited to be the mother of your children!” He said, cheerfully. “How are you two doing on that?” 

He gave his friend a suggestive wink for good measure, and watched as he immediately sputtered, cheeks coloring brighter than his clothing.

_Perfect._ Miroku was _always_ distracting.

…distractions could only help for so long, though. Eventually, InuYasha stopped responding to the teasing, and Miroku gave up and left him to himself. 

InuYasha knew as well as Miroku did that there was no point drawing attention to themselves – heck, that it was actively counter-productive. So when his friend started shouting at their captors again anyways, Miroku took it as a bad sign.

Though he was sure Sango and Kagome would come rescue them _relatively_ soon, there was no way to predict _exactly_ how long it would take.

There was no way to make the upcoming conversation, well… comfortable, so he shrugged and embraced the awkwardness.

“You know, bad luck like this happens to everyone.” He said conversationally, in the brief break between fits of cursing.

“Huh?”

“I mean, there’s no shame in it. If you can’t wait. We’re tied up; plenty of men have run into the same problem, in this situation.”

He had figured out, over the last few years, that InuYasha often truly did not know what was normal, or what most people would consider embarrassing. He wasn’t sure if Sango or Kagome quite grasped that the hanyou simply had not _been around_ enough adult humans to _know_ how people thought or behaved… or why. It was helpful, sometimes, to just plainly tell him things, even if they seemed obvious at first glance.

He didn’t make eye contact, trying to project a sense of non-confrontational, casual advice.

InuYasha glared at him anyway.

“I- I already know that! Why would you bring that up?!”

Miroku gave him a curious glance, but stayed quiet.

InuYasha shifted around – he really was having trouble staying still – and looked away.

“Feh. It’s just… it’s _embarrassing,_ okay? Everything about this is embarrassing.”

“What’s so embarrassing? I’m the only one here who you’ll ever see again, and I got captured even more easily than you! Hardly a story to impress the ladies with – I don’t see the point in repeating it.”

Although he would undoubtedly deny it, InuYasha _did_ look momentarily grateful when he peered at Miroku. Then he cringed a little bit, and growled under his breath.

“Ugh – it’s not… that.” He took a deep breath through gritted teeth.

“It’s just… they’re gonna catch up and let us out, right?”

The monk squinted, taking a moment to catch his meaning. _Oh_. He was embarrassed about the _ladies_ – knowing InuYasha, especially _Kagome_ seeing him in such a compromising position. The two hadn’t even been married a full year yet – obviously (and unsurprisingly) they had yet to reach the level of relationship where nothing could embarrass you in front of your spouse anymore.

“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure you have a chance to clean up before Kagome sees you.”

“How are you gonna do that?”

InuYasha sounded intensely skeptical, and Miroku couldn’t entirely blame him, given the situation. He put on a winning grin.

“I’ll figure something out – I’m excellent at distractions, remember?”

“Keh!”

After a second, the hanyou blanched, and hissed between his teeth. Though he wanted to reiterate that it was alright – that he didn’t need to hurt himself trying to overextend his body – Miroku bit his tongue. It wouldn’t help – knowing InuYasha, it would only make him more stubborn. Instead, he studiously pretended not to pay attention, and limited himself to surreptitious glances of concern.

He risked another look when he heard a startled “Gah!” followed by some vigorous swearing.

InuYasha was trying to press his legs together as much as the awkward positioning of the ropes would allow, but there was still a visible wet patch staining his hakama.

He groaned, and Miroku had no doubt that if they were anywhere else, he’d have fled into the forest by now. InuYasha did not deal with embarrassment in a terribly mature fashion.

He sucked in a breath, then went stiff, ears flattened to his head – there was a soft hissing sound, and the spot on his clothing darkened and spread. Face bright pink, he pointedly refused to look at Miroku.

“…it really is fine. You know that, right InuYasha?”

There was a slight pause, and then those eerily amber colored eyes met his. The hanyou wrinkled his nose, lip curling to show his fangs.

“…stinks like piss now.” He muttered, unhappily.

It probably did, to him – to Miroku the scent wasn’t terribly prominent, considering the building they were in already stunk of mold and old blood and various other unpleasant things. But InuYasha’s sense of smell was distinctly beyond human.

“They won’t notice – it’s really not that bad, for us humans. Not all of us have your nose.”

InuYasha didn’t say anything, but he at least seemed slightly less unhappy.

“Just turn around when you hear the women coming so they can’t see you. I have a plan, alright?”

The wait was not pleasant. It was a while before their rescue party showed up, and neither of them was in the best of moods; InuYasha for obvious reasons, Miroku because he sympathized too much with his friend. He was deeply relieved when the distant screams of dying youkai began drifting to their ears.

As luck would have it, Sango was the first to come through the door, boomerang in hand, whirling around to check the room for hidden dangers.

“Sango, my love!” He shouted. “Quick, get me loose first! There’s no time to explain!”

She cooperated, whipping out a knife to saw through his bindings. Miroku accepted a hand to help him to his feet, stretched – and then without wasting any time, snatched the bucket of disgusting, brackish, disturbingly rusty tinted water from the corner, and unceremoniously dumped it over InuYasha.

The hanyou yelped.

“Gah! What was that for?!” he shouted, coughing and spitting to get the water out of his mouth.

“To break the curse, of course!”

Kagome came running through the door as Sango worked on InuYasha’s ropes, and Miroku employed his well-developed theatrical skills as he launched into the explanation of how one of the youkai had managed to hit InuYasha with a curse – _fortunately_ , magic which could easily be washed away with water.

He gave Sango a tiny shake of his head when she glanced at him skeptically – as a demon hunter, his wife was perfectly well acquainted with the type of youkai they were dealing with today, and knew perfectly well they couldn’t cast such a spell. But she shrugged, just giving him a look that told him he’d better have a good explanation when they arrived home.

He didn’t miss the look of gratitude InuYasha shot him, before the hanyou started complaining about how disgusting that water was, and – after making sure everyone else was uninjured, and the youkai all destroyed – rapidly disappeared to go find someplace to bathe.

As the rest of them started walking home, he refused to explain his amused smile.

It was worth it to help a friend.

And besides, he’d promised not to tell Kagome. But this would give him fuel to tease his partner with whenever they were alone, at least until InuYasha got sick enough of it to stop reacting.

…if he played it right, he could probably draw this one out for _months._

Yes. Absolutely worth it.

Spring in his step, Miroku hummed as he headed back to the village.

**Author's Note:**

> I finally did it! Years after writing my first half-baked InuYasha omo, I finally have published what (as far as I can tell) is the first full length InuYasha omo fic out there. It may have flaws, but I hope there is someone else out there who wanted this as badly as I did, lol.
> 
> Find me on tumblr at omoyasha.tumblr.com
> 
> I hope this fic honors my namesake XD


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